Miraculous and instant is the only way I can describe the effect of morphine. The moment you feel the sweet bite of the needle, the moment that liquid enters your body, tension and worry instantly disappear and the pain miraculously ebbs away. Amazing warmth grows from the entry point of the needle, it grows in ever increasing circles of pleasure, it is unstoppable and it is heaven.
I knew that feeling, I knew the craving for more would grow, I knew the effects would soon seem to last less and less, I knew I would soon want more. I had again crossed over into the realm of pleasure and pain. I was back in heaven, I was back in hell.
It was useless trying to fight it, it was useless worrying, the dice had been cast. I had played my part my fate was now in the doctors hands. I closed my eyes, the tension slowly slipped away and I let my mind wander freely.
A lifetime of memories flashed through my brain there were no constraints, no false moralities holding them back. They all came back, the good memories, the dark scary memories, the ones I had filed away and had tried so hard to forget. They came in waves, as of course they would, random flashes, recollections of a short life.
It all came flooding back and at first it was amazing.