Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (11)

There is always that one random split decision that changes your life forever.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately are some things just destined, do we actually control the outcomes of our lives or are some things just destined to happen no matter what we do ? Can a series of apparently unrelated decisions lead you to a place you were always destined to be, or by constantly taking logical conscious actions can and do we actually own and control our destiny ? A bit of both is most probably the answer, but sometimes shit just happens.

My split second random decision came on the A1 heading north towards O Porto. I had moved into the exit lane put on the indicator to take the exit east and towards France and the future that had been set out for me.

I looked at the sign, and when it came to actually turn the wheel to head off the highway, my arms just did not move and I just drove straight past it towards my new destiny.


Tuesday, 3 June 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (10)

I have no idea how I did in that contest but I do know that 5 minutes after I was out of the event, I started driving back to Ferrol.

It was a big detour, it was not on the way to France, the next stop on tour and it just happened it was not planned at all. Like the tractor beam from a death star it just sucked me north and back to Ferrol and the goddess.

I had never done this before, it was breaking from the plan, this was a huge deviation. Of course there was a plan and it was a simple one.

Whatever  you do , do not get married before 30 and before then do as much naughty shit as legally possible. 

Europe had just opened up a whole new avenue of adventures and there was a new one to be had every single week. You never went back.

Going back was not part of the plan, not even for a goodess. You never went back.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoQuImTAcSE



Thursday, 29 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (9)

Three years later, this time alone, driving south down to Portugal. I felt the same, fucked, proper fucked.

The reality of the whole situation hit home, the party was over. It stopped with the goddess. Sometimes things just have to come to an end.

I had four more contests to go, then I would go home and get married a no brainer really, life was good, better than it had ever been. Better than I could ever  have imagined.

Fail to plan, plan to fail was what those tapes my dad had given me had driven into my brain, I just never expected it to be so much fun.




Thursday, 22 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (8)

I am not sure what is worse, knowing you are going to get punished and just sitting it out waiting to take your beating, like when we were at school, you would get told you had been busted first thing in the morning but would only get called to get whipped 5 minutes before you went home, so you had to just sit and suffer all day, waiting to feel that biting pain.

The other is of course thinking you had got away with your crime and with no warning whatsoever just when you are breathing freely, punishment is dealt out with swift brutality giving no time to prepare.

Suddenly bearing down on us at full speed coming directly towards us was George, Katsy and the Green Mamba.

Katsy had a suspiciously large object in his hand as he stood tall in the turret speeding towards us. It was kind of like a joust with the two knights charging towards each other except we had no lance, we were defenseless.  George put his foot flat and accelerated to maximum speed  at the precise moment the bomb flew straight and true.

The explosion as it hit the windscreen was astounding, shit, flour, milk, piss, everything was in that packet as it exploded not on the windscreen but blew the windscreen into a million shards of broken flying bits of safety glass. It then exploded inside the van, a precursor to a bunker buster.

How we survived I do not know, but we were fucked, proper fucked.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zy7OdvPvFyU



Wednesday, 21 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (7)

If history has taught us one thing. It is the surprise attack, the Blitzkrieg is effective. The first blow is always the most important but if you are going to throw it. If you attack, make damn sure you make it a telling blow, take your adversary down in those first moments of combat.

Bullo had made the perfect first strike. The egg splattered all over the green mamba and the looks of terror and surprise were worth their weight in gold.

We won that first round and the next few after that, Bullo went on a mission. However we soon ran out of food to throw, it became serious when Bullo, decided it was time to roll the dice and had a shit in a plastic bag and lobbed that all over the side of Georgies green mamba.

We were just cracking up, this was the funniest journey we had done in a while, we had the Guns and Roses absolutely blaring full blast and the miles were just flying by, this was going to be a trip to remember.

However, history also should have taught us if your enemy has superior weapons and you do not take him down and leave him to regroup, its just a question of time before he comes and gets revenge. Invariably it is swift and devastating.

The Green Mamba, was vastly superior to our slow older version of the Kombi and as we saw them speed off into the distance soiled and damaged, we remembered that they had a turret and Katsy was standing tall and defiant waving his dick at us while he stared us down as they accelerated away bent on revenge.

Sunday, 18 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (6)

It all started about 100km outside of Burgos on those long straight roads heading west into the sun.

We had stopped for supplies in Burgos, the first and last time I had ever been there, that was the glory of travelling in the van, it had everything a stove, fridge, table. While one of you was driving the other guy could make coffee, lunch, whatever you did not have to stop.

It was in a small butchers shop in Burgos that I saw the single most beautiful women I had ever seen. We had gone in to get some cold meats and some chicken and there she stood behind the counter in her blood stained white butchers overcoat and bloody white gloves. Jet black long hair tied up in a bun with her snowy white neck showing. That was all I needed to see actually just a glimpse of neck and I knew  hands down she was the women of my dreams.

Neither Bullo or I spoke a single word of Spanish, we pointed out and mumbled in English what we wanted, she laughed and giggled at us making fools of ourselves, we paid and left. We still had a long drive ahead of us.

It all started to go horribly wrong when Bullo threw the first raw egg out of the window on that long straight road heading west into the sun.


Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (5)

The first time I ever drove down to Portugal it was with Bullo. Its over a 1000 km from Hossegor down to Ericiera and we had no clue where we were going, we were in convoy with the other South Africans. Herbie was in the Big Blue and Georgie and Katzy were in the Green Mamba.

I was starting to get the feel of this whole new European thing, the sense of freedom. I had survived Newquay just. France, well obviously not France it was always just a question of time before I lost my way in France, but we will get to that a bit later. We had made a few forays into Spain, surfed in San Sebastian, done the Mundaka run, had surfed it flawless with no one out.  It was summer in Europe 1990 and life pretty much could not have been any better.

Its funny how you imagine places before you actually ever get to see them, sometimes they are way better than you think, sometimes its just a huge disappointment. France was way better than even my vivid imagination could picture, the UK and Newquay was kind of OK, but fuck me sideways there were a lot of crazy ladies around and that kind of made it interesting for a while, but again thats another chapter which we will get to a bit later.

Spain just left me breathless, we had done the Pamplona trip for San Fermin as well as the coast. Its pretty obvious by now I got this thing for brunettes and in Spain my god there were a lot of them.

Anway I was excited to be going to Portugal, Herbie had written to me from Supertubes I wanted to go there, I just knew I would love that place. Driving anywhere with Bullo riding shotgun was always fun.

Monday, 12 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (4)

It should have been easy really, just get in the car and drive off into the sunset. I mean its not as if I had´nt done this before.

If you really liked her you got her number and promised to call her next year. This time there would be no next year, it was over for good. The best four years of my life.

In two months time I would be home, the tour would be over, a top 5 finish on the rankings and walking down the aisle. It was all planned and plotted out perfectly. I had lived out my dream it had been better than I could ever have expected, real life awaited me. The life everyone expected of me, the life you have to have.

So that’s exactly what I did, got her number, said I would see her next year and drove off into the sunset. Its not like she could call me, there were no cell phones. I would have her home land line number and that was it. No stalking on Facebook, no Whatsapp messages, once you were out of sight you were gone.

Portugal was next. The long drive down to Portugal and the next event, I was having a good year I needed to focus on the job at hand but the moment I drove up the hill out of Pantin and thought of Portugal I smiled, fuck how much fun did we have in Portugal.


Tuesday, 6 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (3)

Moments, big ones and small ones, important ones and insignificant ones, they all add up and make it interesting.

LIFE that is.

 Life, just a combination of moments and they actually are all of equal importance, they make us what we are. They either prepare us for the tough times or they do not, and you never know when those moments are about to happen.

The moment I slid open the Kombi door that hot summers day, and saw her standing there, a goddess with a nervous smile. Deep down in my stomach I just knew, I just knew this was an important moment.

I wasn’t expecting it and I most certainly was not ready to deal with it.

Sunday, 4 May 2014

Morphine Memories One part II (2)

It stopped in that exact instant, the playboy messing around it all came to an immediate end but at the same time the next few months became a moral hell of doubt and uncertainty.

My surfing career was over, it should never have even happened really, it was time to move on. Time to get back to a normal real life. I was at the top of my game as good as I would ever get as a surfer, I was ready to walk away from it all. My life was all set up for me back in Durban, my bachelor party had literally lasted for three full years.

In just two months time I was getting married to the most amazing, beautiful woman you could ever imagine.


(With David and Grishka, photo Fernando Munoz taken that actual day)

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Morphine Memories One - part II (1)

Continued from Morphine Memories 1.
Spain Aug 1993.


 She came back the next day.

I was feeling terrible the Spanish summer sun baking down on me in the back of the Kombi, the smell of urine from the girl locked in the whole night was horrible, there were thousands of people all around the kombi parked at the contest, it was finals day and the beach was packed.

I heard the knock on the kombi door, they were almost getting irritating, the amount of girls always asking to come into the van, almost.

I slowly got up, it was mid-afternoon already and when I slid the door open there she was. As stunning as the night before, jet black hair, tight jeans and a t shirt, if possible even more beautiful than I remembered with that Gaultier leather jacket. It`s always a worry the next morning seeing a girl again, alcohol has a horrible way of distorting your perception.
Not this time, my heart almost stopped seeing her standing there, she said she would come but I only half believed it, but there she was.

I was in a state, the kombi stank of wet wetsuits piss and alcohol, I had to get her away from there. It was the finals day so we went and watched a few heats and talked, it was my lucky day she spoke pretty good English so we managed just fine.


Monday, 28 April 2014

JBAY Tales (16)

Up until that moment I always had this kind of ideal image of girls, they were just so perfect, they could never be bad, they could never do anything wrong, they just couldn’t. D helped change that.

Obviously BB had been a crazy little thing, but I kind of knew deep down she was not normal, nice girls surely did not jump on you in the lounge and have a quicky while mom went off to make a cup of tea, I guessed that was not normal, or was it ? 

D opened up a whole new can of questions.

Honestly to this day, I am no nearer to any of the answers to the questions D started spinning around in my brain that day.

However it did re enforce my ever increasing belief in my new theory of if you don’t try, you will never know.  Leroy a few years later in the Beach Hotel put the final nail in that coffin when he just walked up to a group of girls sitting having a drink and without so much as a single previous word asked the one nearest to him if she would like to fuck !!!!.

She looked up at him, then across the room at Jack, Birdman and myself and said, why not.


Wednesday, 16 April 2014

JBAY Tales (15)

I suppose that should worry me, the fact my biggest problem at the time was how I was going to get those semen stains off Bruce´s jacket. I didn’t even blink an eye to the fact that we had some strange naked girl kicking and struggling in bed, her friend sitting having a smoke on the stairs outside, and an old lady looking at us through the bedroom window.

Bruce had a dark side to him , he had an aura that induced fear about him sometimes, I had seen him beat the shit of people, he had an awesome temper, fuck under absolutely no circumstances could he ever find out Leroy had cum all over his jacket. 

Monday, 14 April 2014

JBAY Tales (14)

The next few minutes were just out of control, so funny, so exciting, so wrong.

I could recite every single word said line for line but no ways in a million years is that going to happen, not here anyway.
I had this red blanket jacket, it wasn’t mine in was Bruce´s he had lent it to me as we don’t really have that much cold weather clothing up in Durban, so he let me use his jacket to go down to J Bay in winter, it was just the coolest jacket ever, fur lined and a red tartan print. It really was the coolest jacket ever.

We were dumb but we were not idiots, we knew you cant be having sex with some total stranger, she might fall pregnant. This was way before AIDS was even heard of so that was not even a factor we just knew you did not want to get a strange girl pregnant.

I guess that was what was going through Leroys mind as he got down to the short strokes and suddenly in a rush pulled out and tried to get to the open window to blow his load out into the garden. Of course he did not make it and squirted all over Bruce`s red jacket which was hanging on the bed post. I am not sure if the noise D had been making as she was kicking up a bit of a fuss by now or it was just by chance, but just at that moment Mrs Spowart the manager of the caravan park was walking and snooping about near our rondavel and looked straight into Leroys eyes as he stood there naked with his dick in his hand in the window.


Wednesday, 9 April 2014

JBAY Tales (13)

This was it, literally every single teenage guys dream come true.

A sexy slightly older girl just oozing sex defiantly.

There is always that moment when you actually have to deal with something you have imagined a million times before and believe me, it never ever is how you expect it to be. No matter how many times you have played something over in your head, until you actually have to do it, you just do not know how you are going to react.

This was huge.


Monday, 7 April 2014

JBay Tales (12)

She slammed the door shut as she left in a huff, it was one of those double doors, like the one we had in the kitchen at home on the Bluff, with a top and bottom part. For some reason the top part did not stay closed and swung back open, Scarface obviously did not want to watch through the window and just sat down on the steps with the door half open and listened to everything.

D just sat there on the bed making absolutely no sign of trying to get away, calm as a cucumber she sat there with a defiant stare, kind of like ok so here I am what are you going to do about it ?

We had only met her 10 minutes ago.


Thursday, 6 March 2014

The Bluff Revisited III

Continued.

Ironically, it was competitive surfing that changed the course of Martin’s life.
“I was in my twenties when I realised surfing was a way of getting out of the downward spiral I saw all my other friends in – the drugs and the violence and the fighting. Some of those people just never got out of that. I saw surfing as an excuse to get off the Bluff in a way, and at the time there was a nice, healthy competitive scene in South Africa.”
Martin began competing on the ASP, did well, and later found himself in Europe where he was offered the job as Director of ASP Europe - a position he held for nearly 15 years after he relocated to Spain. Nowadays he is candidly trying to come to terms with his roots and “the stupid shit we did”.

“I never really took drugs, but if you didn’t take drugs or drink or fight, you didn’t fit in, so you were almost forced into that lifestyle on the Bluff,” he says. “That’s just the way it was.”

Words- Will Bendix, editor ZigZag Surfing magazine, stolen from an article in Surfers Journal.

Monday, 3 March 2014

The Bluff revisited II

Continued.

By the time Martin finished school, his crew owned the beach, but South Africa was in a state of emergency. Everyone was soon called up for compulsory military service. “People don’t understand how heavy the situation in the country was,” he says. “When I finished the army in 1986, a lot of my friends worked for private security companies and then we were all pretty much armed and dangerous. People would come to the beach with shotguns and 9 mils and baseball bats and just cause shit. That’s when Garvies was just absolutely out of bounds.”
By this stage the Bluff’s reputation preceded itself and anyone coming from the outside knew to tread very lightly. Yet, somehow, Cave Rock avoided the brunt of this vicious closed-door policy.
“The locals at Garvies were always pretty gnarly, and at Ansteys. But the Rock was different,” says Martin. “The road goes right past the Rock and there were always town guys out, so it was never as localised as Corner and definitely not as localised as Garvies. They’d come to the Rock, surf the Rock and they’d go. It was kinda just accepted.”

Martin and friends would even begrudgingly watch the ‘townies’ trade barrels with standout locals like Gavin Spowart and Rudy Palmboom at the end of the road. “We just sat there and bit our lips going, ‘These guys are good’. You learn from watching better surfers. And we learnt a lot.”


Thursday, 27 February 2014

The Bluff revisited.

I know this is going off track again but, I been pondering wether to actually continue with the next episode of Dee, Scarface and the crazy scene that was about to unfold in J Bay.

I am also moving house so just havent been bothered to write anything.

Anyway, just got a call from Will who has had this published in Surfers Journal.

“They were town clowns, and you just did not want to be associated with them in any way,” recalls Clyde Martin, who grew up surfing the Bluff’s most notorious peak, Garvies, during the early 1980s.
Although Cave Rock has always taken centre stage, the Bluff is home to a series of formidable waves that sit shoulder-to-shoulder, much like the North Shore. The most well known of these is Cave Rock and then Garvies, with Ansteys – or ‘Corner’ – wedged in the middle.
 “The first locals at Garvies were a pretty core bunch of guys. And then there were the guys at Corner, we used to call them the ‘Corner Skates’,” says Martin. “They used to hang out on the grass by the toilets and smoke joints and pop Mandrax (Quaaludes) tablets. They were just a mean fucking bunch of guys that used to hang out there. They wouldn’t feel anything to get into a fight. At Garvies it was the same and that’s just what we learnt from day one. There was a rivalry between Ansteys and Garvies as well, a huge rivalry, although if there was any ever problem from the outside, we’d all stick together.”
Martin is blunt when asked where the fierce territorialism came from. “I’ve got no idea. It’s just something we grew up with,” he replies. “But I do know for a fact that my group of locals, we took the localism thing to another level completely. We pushed it way out of control.”
He recalls a few facebrick duplexes that still line the dunes at Garvies, the last one standing next to the carpark. “Originally there were going to be 21 of those houses going right down the beach towards Cave  Rock,” he says. “Things started to get really gnarly when they started to build those houses. I was still in high school and we decided that we just couldn’t have this at our beach and we literally stopped them building those houses. We burnt the houses down. Every single night we’d go in and rip all the stuff out. We’d saw out the rafters and make bonfires with the wood. They’d get security guards and we’d beat the security guards up and when they got to the last house, the one in the carpark, the guy behind the development decided he just couldn’t do it anymore.”



Thursday, 20 February 2014

JBAY Tales (11)

Birdman was on fire that day, just peak form. His one liners were all time, how do I remember, because we taped the whole thing.

D was keen she made it painfully obvious, it was the first time I realized that there is some kind of attraction coming from Durban and being a surfer, especially to the Afrikaans girls in the smaller cities and towns. It was my first experience with girls in JBay, it opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.

While we contemplated making that cup of tea and debated what kind of chit chat we were going to have with these two ladies who just a few minutes earlier were walking past our rondavel. Birdman immediately gave the bushy friend the name Scarface as she had a small birthmark on her cheek, as she lit up a smoke, he set the tone for what was about to go down with this beauty and I quote.

“Scarface, I do not fuck ashtrays, so if you want to watch you can go outside and watch through the window”

It just went downhill from there.


Wednesday, 19 February 2014

JBAY Tales (10)

We met them opposite the funky church with the red candle that was always burning on the road going up towards the bungalow from the main street.

D was hot but Scarface was a bit of a bushy, we just walked past them on the road and asked them if they wanted to come back to our place, they smiled and said they would like that. We smiled and said we would love that.

It was the middle of the day and we had way too much time on our hands. Two teenage girls and three hormone strung out guys with an overdose of energy with alchohol, drugs and without any kind of supervision.

 It can go either way really, a nice cup of tea and friendly chit chat, or an all out no holds barred sexual frenzy.

I´ll give you one guess as to how this one turned out.


Thursday, 13 February 2014

JBAY Tales (9)

I guess what I am trying to say is, if you really want something you got to go and get it, just sitting there thinking about it is not going to do the job, you got to take the risk and make it happen.

Of course you get rejected, of course you fail, but if you don’t even try,  those things are guaranteed.

We were at that stage in life where the limits were always going to be pushed, what was acceptable and what was not we had to work out for ourselves. It’s a fine line sometimes.

The surf was the same, the bungalow was the same, the food was the same, the beers, vodka, cough mixture all were the same. That year we brought an 8mm movie camera, a cassette tape and girls into the equation and it got messy very fast.

The rest went pretty much to plan, a few more dodgy photos, heaps of perfect waves and miraculously that year we stayed out of jail. It was however always just a question of time before we did eventually find our way there, but we still had a few more years of pushing things to breaking point before it did eventually end up in a huge big bloody mess.


Tuesday, 11 February 2014

JBAY Tales (8)

I loved school, I could never understand the guys who hated it. I saw it clear as day, they were going to be the best years of our lives. Well at least at the time I thought that. Now I know the best years of my life have pretty much been every single one in one way or another, anyway I digress.

School was always easy, I never ever made an effort, the objective was to pass and move on. I just learnt the rules and got on with it, no stress and did what needed to be done.

I worked it out real early in life, you just got to play the cards you get dealt, you either play them smart and win even with a bad hand or be an idiot and lose with 3 Aces. I got dealt an Ace and I have played it all my life, it’s the other cards that keep changing as life moves on, but that Ace I have always had up my sleeve.

I knew I had to get the most out of my school days, after school came the army and a job, how the hell could that be better than school, I understood that clearly, all I wanted to do was surf and hang out with BB, I knew I had to get the teachers on my side.

Mr P well that was under control, a few photos here and there , trips to J Bay and never a bad result in any of my science or biology exams. He however did get very frustrated and loved to have me whipped, the sadistic bugger. He would always know if I was at school or not as he watched my every move and would turn me in and have my arse stripped to the bone.
History was also under control, Du Bois was the teacher in charge of the school surfing team which I was the captain of, he knew if I failed I would be banned from surfing by my dad so no matter how badly my history exams went he always found a way to pass me. He was a legend, blind as a bat and he loved surfing with us, but could never see the sets coming so we would just quietly paddle away from him and watch him get caught inside, fuck it was funny stuff.
I loved English, actually I loved my English teacher way more, she was by far the sexiest woman at school and I loved her to bits. I always liked English, for her I made an effort. One night on one of our many drunken town nights out, Leroy, Jack and myself at my insistence went round to her flat on the beachfront, it was about 1am when I knocked on her door. Unfortunately her husband answered the door and I made an idiot of myself, but the message was loud and clear. It was a message to myself mainly. 

I was still young, only 17 but knew already that if you don’t buy the ticket you will never ever catch the bus. 






Sunday, 9 February 2014

JBay Tales (7)

If nothing else, this tale has made me realize that, I have done and or been involved in some crazy stuff in my lifetime.

Nearly always it has involved women or violence, if we add Leroy into the equation and women, violence and Leroy are involved under normal circumstances the story could and should never be told. However sometimes you just gotta say what the fuck.

It was our next trip to J Bay that we really lit the wick to everything that was going to follow.

We were 17, we had done our first trip and had survived, Mr P was still around he took us back the next year, but no Jack it was Birdman who came along this time. 

Even Leroy is not sure if this tale should be told. There are a lot of things I am not exactly proud of doing and this is one of those times but fuck sakes it certainly was amusing at the time.

It involves an 8mm film a cassette tape, 2 lady friends, Leroy, Birdman and myself and believe me we have done a lot of stuff we should have gone to jail for and this would have made the top 3 for sure.

Of all the naughty shit we have done, this was by far the naughtiest.


Wednesday, 5 February 2014

Hot off the Press.

Ok so slight deviation here, but actually perfect transition into the next JBay tale with a little break between trips.

This is just too good to let slide by. Love a bit of investigative journalism.




Monday, 3 February 2014

JBay Tales (6)

There was never really any doubt, that at 16 we would be ok, honestly I can’t even remember if we had any money, obviously we did, but not a cash card that daddy would have topped up and we could just take what we wanted, no, nothing like that we had a bit of cash and it had to last.

Fuck we had a good time, not even Mr P trying to kiss me using a piece of nougart as bait made Leroy and Jack bash him senseless, we knew he was our pass to more trips and our lift to surf at Seals and much more.

While we were there we saw the start of the 1st Pro event in J Bay the Beach Hotel surf Classic, I just knew right there and then I wanted to surf in that contest, even though Supers on my twinfin was a nightmare, I just could not surf the place properly, I had no drive and the never ending walls were just so different to the drop and barrel of the Bluff, I had a hard time surfing Supertubes for years, but in the end I eventually got its number. I had to surf the left hand point breaks in Spain and Indo before I could come back and surf Supers.

I know now there is no other place on the planet quite like it. “ Speed is everything” A lot later in life while on the world tour, Jack Shipley the founder of the Pipe Masters and Lightning Bolt pulled me aside and said to me, " Son speed is a manouevre in itself" and believe me at Supertubes you can go faster than anywhere else on earth.



(Ps by the way today is exactly 5 years to the day I bashed my brains out on the rocks at Tubes and started this whole little adventure.)

Thursday, 30 January 2014

JBAY Tales (5)

This was my first real surf trip where we were free to do whatever we pleased, just Jack, Leroy and myself and we were good, we did nothing bad, nothing  bad at all. It was the first and last surf trip with Leroy where nothing bad happened,. Every single trip after that one just got progressively worse and worse, actually I mean better and better. 

We surfed all day, and then we surfed some more. We ate huge amounts of canned curry fish and rice, drank huge amounts of alcohol and lit our farts. Man that was a sight to behold, our diet was less than healthy and the curried fish, rice and alcohol mix made us drop some atomic bomb farts and when you drop atomic bomb farts and you are drunk and bored in a dark cold rondavel. You light those things up. 

Jesus to this day I have not seen anything like it (except of course that time at the Café Paris in Hossegor when DH tried to launch a rocket out of his bum)  huge luminous green jet fuel flames spurting out of our rings lighting up the room, kind of like the northern lights with a kick. Of course this was the best thing ever and just made us try harder to out do the last one, fuck it was funny.
I cant say this was the best most classic trip ever, as it was not, but it was the first and it was awesome, the first is always something you remember. There were no drugs, there were no women, there were no fights. Once !  just this once not one of those things happened and we were good.

Tuesday, 28 January 2014

JBAY Tales (4)

I been kind of thinking about the whole Mr P deal. Pretty amazing really, would I let my 16 year old son go off with some dodgy teacher for 3 weeks, even if he was just going to be supplying the lift and was not actually going to be staying with him.

Of course I would, if he had 2 friends the caliber of Leroy and Jack getting his back, and I knew my son was as mentally strong as I was, of course I would. Fuck sakes it’s a trip to J bay. He will be ok. I knid of think we were so much more street smart then than the kids of today, the kids of today have soooo much more info at their disposition but we just were tougher and smarter and we did not take much shit from anyone.

Ok so after saying that, Mr P did not just drop us in J bay and bugger off, no he came around and did spend a night or 2, he came to check to see if we were ok, he said. We were stoked the long walk down to Supers everyday was a pain and when he was around we could surf way more as the car was a bonus.
However he always seemed to have his camera in his hands every time we were getting in and out of our wetsuits and it was always pointed at my arse for some reason. He also followed us into the showers at night and took photos of us showering, the dirty sod.
We all knew what was going on and played the game to perfection, we still had 2 more years at school and 2 more trips to J bay in July to nurture.


(you know I got worse photos than these, but you not seeing them.)


Sunday, 26 January 2014

JBay Tales (3)

Its hard to imagine how J Bay was back then, it was really just a small little town, only the one hotel in the center of town , not a single house on the point yet, not a single back packers, no accommodation anywhere at all, just the hotel, the rondavels or the caravan Park.   No supermarket,   just Unger´s general store, no take away places except Trawlers for fish and chips across the road from the hotel, which to this day is still there. The guest book is also still there and what we wrote in it more than 30 years ago is also still there.

We stayed in the rondavels run by Mrs Spowart, no heating, 3 rusty old beds a small gas stove, no fridge, one small window and a very small kitchen kind of place, not even a toilet or shower, this was in a comunal block and did not have hot water. J Bay in July is cold, believe me it is cold, we had old useless wetsuits, we wore all the clothes we had all at the same time, for 3 straight weeks, we surfed ourselves into a stupor. We pretty much had every single spot to ourselves and it just pumped non stop day after day. 

This was home for 3 weeks and it was paradise.




Wednesday, 22 January 2014

JBay Tales (2)

I am not sure exactly how we managed to scam our way back to JBay only 6 months later. Jack, Leroy and myself alone in J bay for 2 weeks. We were only 16 and we managed to get there and look after ourselves and surf ourselves to death.

Anyway to cut a long story short we managed to convince our biology teacher Mr P to take us to JBay a 1000km drive each way during the winter school holidays in July. Mr P at best was a dodgy character and he would have loved to fondle my bottom. 

I learnt pretty quick that sex gives you power, or in this case the desire he had to fondle my bum, gave me a hold over him. Thinking back now, it most certainly was a dangerous game to be playing at olny 16, but BB had taught me well and used sex to manuipulate and twist me to her will. I guess if you got to learn the hard way its best to learn while you still young. 

Mr P also just happened to be the teacher in charge of the photography club which we of course joined, he just loved the dark room and took a special interest in taking photos of me. With every dodgy photo he took we got closer and closer to JBay.

Just so we get this perfectly clear, Leroy and Jack were always near and Mr P knew without the slightest shadow of a doubt, that if he so much as tried to touch anyone of us he would have lots of his limbs broken.  However like most devious dirty men his desire was too much for him and he agreed to take us to JBay. 


Tuesday, 21 January 2014

JBAY Tales (1)

From that very first moment I laid eyes on her, I have felt her close to me.

Like most eternal love affairs it was more of a lusty need at first, a primal urge to see her again as soon as possible, a need to be near her, to feel her energy to absorb and be absorbed by her.

With time that need has eased and has evolved into a warm feeling of trust, I know she is there, she is not going anywhere, she is patiently waiting for me, we both know there could never be another.

I love her smell, I love her beauty, I love her touch, there is only one like her, I have looked the world over and I cannot find anything that even comes close to her, she truly is unique and I need her.

We have had our ups and our downs, of course we have, like all jealous lovers she even tried to kill me. We have had some great times, the best of times actually. Important times, key moments, moments that mark a lifetime.

Ever since that very first day, I have moved H eaven and earth to be with her, she has been good to me, she has been amazing, even the trying to kill me bit somehow strangely has made me grow as a person, it has made me stronger, it has made me love her even more.
I have made it my mission to make sure she is part of me, and I have succeeded.

From that very first day in 81 we have been together far too little, but we have been together as often as possible and just a  single day with her is better than a 100 with another.

I am eternally grateful to have Jeffreys Bay in my life, she is my paradise on earth.