Thursday, 10 September 2015

The Leroy Chronicles (4)

I just knew this was not going to end well, I had been down this road before. Leroy was the world champion of just pushing things that one step too far. Noooooo, what was I thinking it was never just one step too far it was always way past as far as it could be pushed. Pez was right tonight I would lose my job and believe me it was the best job in the world.

The first time I had seen Leroy in full flight was when we were still groms and the bar fight down at Margate, but then everyone was going crazy that night, it was not until much later and after reflecting back did I realize that he was having way too much fun. Everyone else was just trying to control an out of control situation. With Leroy you learned to expect the unexpected, but no matter how prepared you thought you were, it was never enough.

Then again we were from the Bluff.

Wednesday, 9 September 2015

The Leroy Chronicles (3)

I had been invited as the manager of ASP Europe along with the top 8 surfers in the event to attend the larney dinner dance function, we were all sitting at our own table pretty much in the middle of the dining hall, the guests of honour.

Leroy was the last to arrive at our table and the first confused looks of all present soon turned to amusement then to just outright amazement. Clearly Leroy was not Brad Gerlach even though he had just sat himself down at the place marked Brad Gerlach. Machado was the most confused, Davo just smiled, Big Foot had a raised eyebrow but said nothing, the rest just kind of looked puzzled.

Leroy put things straight before I could say a word and once again I quote. 

“Hi I´m Brad, I can´t remember what this young lady´s name is as I just met her on the street outside 5 minutes ago.” That raised a few snickers and Davo was immediately impressed, Leroy however was only warming up. “I saw she had this thing in her tongue and  (this was the early 90`s and I had never actually ever seen a tongue piercing before)  I thought, I am sure by the end of the night I could get her to stick that little metal ball stuck in her tongue right up the hole in the end of my dick”

That was when I knew I was fucked.

Monday, 7 September 2015

The Leroy Chronicles (2)

I had never ever set eyes on her before and clearly had no idea what she was doing standing next to Leroy as he made his spectacular entrance into the civic reception for the Newquay Board Masters at the Headland hotel at Fistral beach.

There they were as security were trying to shuffle him and his lady friend out of the hallway and back onto the street. This night was a big deal, all the town big wigs were present, the Mayor was all dressed up in full gala dress with chains and all. The town crier was dressed in an even crazier outfit and was ringing his bell and announcing everyone on the short list of invited guests as they arrived.

Leroy pulled out his crumpled invitation and entered the hall with a crazy look of satisfaction on his face as he strode across the hall in my direction and the name Brad Gerlach was called out loud and clear for all to hear.

It was then that Pez who was standing next to me at that precise moment looked over at me and said in his thick Spanish accent, are you farging crazzy mannnnnnn, tonight you will be fired this I say to you now.

Sunday, 6 September 2015

The Leroy Chronicles. (1)

The Leroy Chronicles.

Deep inside you know you just can`t do that shit.  Then there is Leroy, if you have hung around Leroy long enough you realize that you actually can. The amount of completely crazy out of control absolutely totally morally unacceptable moments at Leroy´s side are astounding.

However that is not even the astounding part. What is incredible is nothing ever happened, not ever, well not to us anyway. Of course there have been girls, police, blood, broken bones, lots of pretty much everything but never to us.

We were inseparable when we were young but first the army, then marriage, kids and just life has kept us apart for years at times, but when Leroy is at your side. Shit happens.

I doubt I could ever tell all the stories and I most certainly could not tell the whole truth but lets start with a few. " The Leroy chronicles "